22 September 2011

To the Morning

You may think this song sounds smarmy but it has a lasting memory for me that is rooted in earnestness and angst. This song has been with me since since my early teenage years. It was a song that marked my transition from childhood to adolescence.

Those first few bars on the piano always sounded to me like the urgent pull of adulthood on my life. It was God/Life/Energy/Source pulling me forward, gently seducing me, inviting me to come on, or dragging me sometimes reluctantly, sometimes willingly toward the mystery and the magic and the tragedy of life.

Never was the fear for me the fear of dying. The fear for me was the fear of living. Death was a great relief. The end of the play. Time to take a bow and be recognized for a job well done. The harder part was the acting in scene 1, 2 and 3. Memorizing the lines. Learning the moves. Integrating with the other actors. Studying how to come across well to the audience. 

Funny how it always felt like I was onstage. Perhaps that came from living in a small town in which every adult knew who I was and who my parents were. There was no escaping from any crime however small. I suppose it was good training for an adulthood spent in a city where video cameras abound. Are the cameras still on all the red lights? Don't know. It changes by the week. The voters want them off but the city wants them on. It's a good revenue source. Never mind the privacy issues. Once again it comes down to the money.

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